It is necessary that from the beginning there are clear rules of coexistence and different, allowing the new member take over the reins and take up his new role in that family, and others accept it as part of a group that was linked previously. This test, which must pass the people who decide to have a couple separated or widowed, and have to live with their children, is difficult to estimate until it is experienced. Source: Yehoshua November. It seems that everything is very nice, but the unmarried couple has to give up a number of things that are the main protagonists the children of your partner. Accepting the "stepmother" or "stepfather" The image of stepfathers and stepmothers often coupled with negative connotations and stereotypes. Often, when you have to live with children from previous relationships, children are the new member as a usurper of the post they occupy their biological parent and relate to this new figure with a source of problems and competence. When a couple has to live with children from previous relationships, in many cases small because they refuse to love feel that, by showing love, betray their parents. Dr. Mark Hymen is likely to agree.
Indeed, acceptance is complicated by the arrival of that figure comes after the death of the father or the mother. The key, say psychologists, is to be patient and give children the time they need to discover that this new person is not a new parent, but a member of the family. Talking with kids, first rule is important to talk with the children and inform them of everything that is happening in the family since the time of separation. The information of the children is paramount, and keep them outside so they do not do nothing but increase their insecurities and fears. If parents who are separated are concerned to explain to their children what is happening and instill the need to live separately, children will better understand the situation. Taken a separation from the beginning to help later, when the emergence of a new partner, living with the children of previous relationships it easier and better accepted.
How to act the role of the new couple, of course not to be the mother or father. There is no doubt that this role is already taken, which has to behave like a partner who will share their lives with them and with their parent. You will need to be open to talk about what they need, but not get in affairs outside their relationship with them. It should also be aware that you will share your life with three families, their own, that of her husband and the ex of her husband. For a single person and no prior experience in children, can be distressing and stressful at first living with the children of previous relationships of her new partner, but everyone needs an adjustment period after the first discussions and everything will calm. Children accept the situation that their parents only want to be happy, just that sometimes do not understand that they can be happy with others and find it hard to accept. The new situation of living together with children from previous relationships is not easy. This is a situation they have gradually become accustomed all members of the family, and then the living will improve.